To be honest with this week I had a really hard time getting my head back into the game after the week before, and just all my insecurities that hit me really hard. This was also my first time ever looking at prophetic literature (which might I add is amazing!) so it was a little bit overwhelming - but man did God hit me this.
Studying Amos I think opened a lot of doors in my mind and in my relationship with God. It took me a long time to really be able grasp what God was trying to say through this book, and honestly when I did it felt like another piece of the puzzle fell into place.
Yes, it would be so easy to read this book and only see God's wrath and anger but to start and wondered where that is stemmed from leads to some intense insight. The more I started looking into the book and the more teachings we got on it, God's heart pretty much exploded in front of me. His crying out in desperation to his people who have walked away and turned their heads away from him, the agony of God's hearts is so powerful because he is pretty much handing his heart to them and they don't even acknowledge him. It makes me think of how I would feel calling out and crying out to someone that I loved with everything I had, and seeing them running in the direction of death and ignoring all the acts I try to do to get their attention - that would kill me.
The more I get into God's word the more I'm not only seeing more of his character, but starting to actually feel his heart and the more I start to realize that I'm not worthy to know it. You know when someone tells you something, whether it be information that you feel is over your head or someone confiding in you, either way the question of "why are they telling me this?" comes up. At times that is how I feel about the bible and the stories that God has chosen to tell us, the rawness of his heart is displayed in every book. The amazing part to all of this is that I'm not worthy to know it just like I'm not worthy of his love but yet in the end he gives it to me anyways. God is pulling his weight and more in our relationship… my part is how I respond.
You are God and I am a man
and I cant wrap my mind around you or begin to understand you
You are big and I am small
yet through surrender I can see you-just a glimpse but thats enough for me
When I'm hopeless
When I'm faithless
When I'm helpless
You still here, your still here
cause in this darkness, in this silence
You are beside me, you remind me that I'm not alone
(Joel Limpic - Find Me Here)
No comments:
Post a Comment