I knew that I wanted to do a BCC after I was done my DTS but my plan was to do it in Honolulu Hawaii not really on the other side of the world. I don't think I would actually be able to tell you how many times God has brought up and affirmed me going to Australia. Along with that I have never had less say in where I was going, I can 100% say that I had nothing to do with choosing Australia.
Attending this school in January is (for me) a step in the direction of taking missions seriously, I wouldn't being spending and stressing about all this money and time to go across the world if I didn't truly believe that it is where God has called me to go. I have truly hit the walls and told God that I was done with all of this, I didn't want to keep going because it was to hard pushing towards something that I didn't even know if it was going to happen or not. A few weekends I sat in my room procrastinating journaling for as long as I could, but when I finally sat down with God and was honest with what was going on, things changed. To quote my journal from that night "I don't think Australia is going to work, I just don't see or understand how it could." and also " Please Lord can tomorrow be a new beginning." Now to point out two things about those quotes, is that I honestly felt like I had no reason to believe that i was going to get there and why I was bothering even trying and with the last quote I found it was odd when I looked back the next day "tomorrow" and realized that I don't usually ask for a change with the detail of timing (having it be fixed by the next day) anyways I wrote this all on a saturday.
Sunday, got stuck downtown on my way to church and had to get my sister to come get me, then finally got to church and have never felt so called out in a sermon. Like I have been to sermons where they have touched and moved me but never have I been to one when God was like "Okay Kelsey listen up this ones for you, other people will be moved but I have done this for you right now." It was amazing! Honestly so cool, then had this epic conversation at my sisters house about living the lives of Christ and what that looks like (it actually started about helping the homeless and all the grace and patience that is needed-random? yes I know) but it was a really cool conversations and actually opened my eyes to seeing my sister as someone who is walking a very similar path or at least has a similar thought process as I do. Anyways get home and started talking to Shauna about how I was still so unsure if I was suppose to go to Australia, just because I felt like I had no direction. A few minutes later (no joke) I get a weird phone call.... no big deal it was only my school leader telling me that I was officially accepted into The School of Biblical Studies - Bible Core Course! So cool how God works with timing! Honestly the timing of that could NOT have been more perfect.
Moments like those are what I have been holding on during this time of waiting and trust. I have never trusted God with something so huge before. The one thought that I continue to go back too, is when a speaker once said "dream God dreams" reach for something that you know you cant reach on your own so that you HAVE to lean on God to fulfill it. Over and over again God keeps saying "this is MY plan not yours! Let me do the hard work and get all the little details put together, because you could work your butt off but you wont come close to having what you need.... you need Me." It is the hardest thing to remember in this time, but I think I'm getting a little better - you live and you learn right?
So right now I have my passport and about a quarter of the money that I need... the only way I'm going to get to Australia is by Gods grace, and that is no joke.
1 comment:
That was a cool day. And I'm honoured to be a part of your journey...and watch you grow in Him. Keep your eyes and heart in the right spot and He will always reveal Himself. We support you in anything that happens. ~shauna
Post a Comment